Oh, living single while in the Foreign Service I moved abroad single and was able to date while being abroad, both inside and outside the embassy.
I see it this way: You can make the most of your time anywhere, or you can choose to be miserable. Is it a challenge to be single? But there are also benefits that I experienced. I find that there is beauty both in being single and having a partner. I would also say that having dated a local was a great experience.
Had it not been for that person, there are places, things, food and people I would never have enjoyed. Open yourself up, give the county a chance; enjoy all the great things the people have to offer. My first two tours overseas, I was as happy as I could be—socializing after work five or six nights a week, traveling constantly, accepting every invitation I received. I really made some great friends, both among locals and within the embassy, and sucked the proverbial marrow out of my experiences.
When I returned to Washington for several years, I reconnected with long-time friends from college who lived in the area and spent considerable time investing in those relationships. I started to dread the thought of picking up and rebuilding my social network, once again; the idea actually tired me out, when it had once invigorated me. At the very least, I likely would have spent considerable portions of my career in Washington, a place that feels very much like home and where I have a well-established group of trusted friends.
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However, having a partner to navigate this topsy-turvy career has made subsequent transitions much smoother. For me, making transitions together with my husband alleviates some of the stress caused by the constant change. Right now I am back in the United States about to go to court to get divorced. I have observed that the Foreign Service can uncover problems in a marriage.
When overseas, the non-working spouse has to find their own way. It is a difficult problem for many to have too much free time. Being posted in countries where there are few job opportunities, especially in the last year with the hiring freeze, can be very difficult for both partners.
Single Foreign Service Officers: Dropping a Truth Bomb - Path to Foreign Service
My marriage was unhealthy prior to joining the State Department, so my divorce is not really completely related to serving in the Foreign Service; but serving overseas certainly hastened my decision to get out of it. There is much joy for the employed spouse living the life of a member of the Foreign Service. The job allows one to do many unique and interesting things. But when the non-working spouse has trouble making friends and fitting in, the excitement is one-sided. When I was in my marriage, I daily thought how much better it would be to be living alone.
Hope it wasn't harming my choices but thank god for the real world either way. Wish I'd thought of changing my tshirt all the time, that's pretty funny. I could've done my very own tshirts video by adding a tshirt for every message sent or received I think I "smiled" you on there once, I'm not sure if I got the gumption to send you a message. I'm like you in that I don't actively use it really, although I go through phases. Right now, I'm working hour weeks, training and taking on far too much in my spare time so now isn't the best time to go hunting for a girlfriend or any other kind of relationship.
Having said that, FSO is about the only opportunity I've got to meet single women at the moment since my current circumstances don't allow a lot of "real life" socialising and matchmaking.
Singles Have Families, Too, Just Not at Post
It's nice to have the odd chat on there and remind yourself that every now and then you stumble across a delightful young lady with whom a guy can have an engaging conversation. In my early twenties, like any regular guy, I had a bevvy of platonic female friends with whom I could talk about the stuff that guys just don't tend to discuss together.
As these couple-up and marry and spawn! Yes, I'm jaded, cynical and don't really believe I'll meet my perfect person on a dating website, but then again I'm not sure I'll meet one in real life either. I think I've been spoon-fed too many happy endings! I also hope those of us loonies who still lurk online don't scare you too badly! Online dating sites always seem more as online hookup sites, but there are as always exceptions to every rule. But the "right" or right enough person could pop up in all manner of places, often when you aren't even looking.
The internet offers a few new ways of "meeting" people. And there's nothing wrong with that. The only thing I've noticed is the distinctly different level of social etiquette that seems prevalent on the net. I have good and bad stories about online dating.
It's no different from meeting them for real. Creepy is still creepy. I tried it for a couple of weeks but for all the wrong reasons. I only signed up when my ex told me he'd met his new girlfriend on there so I figured if he could do it then so could I. I cancelled my account when I realised that I was only using it to stroke my ego by seeing how many men would send me smiles or messages but I had no intention of actually meeting any of them as it all felt slightly artificial.
Still, my ex is still with the new girlfriend so it's obviously worked for them, one of the rare? As the guy who stated internet dating is for losers it was mentioned I should try it for myself, so I did for a month, and while I did I was indeed a loser. Here are the numbers: On an average month when I am dating I will have about 12 real dates from real life coffee dates not included because they are stupid. Most women I see more than once, obviously.
From that website I think I only got 2 real dates plus coffee dates and I didn't want to see any of the women again. Over the month I messaged 40 to 50 women it's a numbers game with polite, unique and properly spelled messages. I had women approach me first on average every 2 days.
I politely declined those I was not interested in. Of the email conversations most of the women just rudely stopped writing without warning, they were clearly bored and not serious about meeting people at all. So yes, the women I met or didn't meet on that site were repellant and rude, a good definition for 'loser'. While I was there I was a loser because I spent so much extra time and effort than usual to get dates but had far less success than usual.
Greer has decided to leave the site and from the sounds of it she definitely didn't win. And most of the men she describes seem to fit the definition of loser. Huh, turns out I was right all along.
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Single Foreign Service Officers: Dropping a Truth Bomb
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